Dear Teresa, 

Breaking the Silence: Men Grieve Too

 As June unfolds with the promise of sunshine and summer, it also brings moments of quiet reflection especially around Father's Day and Men’s Health Month. For many, this season highlights a tender ache: the grief men carry after losing a child, a father, or the dream of fatherhood itself. Too often, that grief goes unnoticed or unspoken.

Our culture has long told men to be stoic, composed, and strong, rarely giving them permission to fall apart or to grieve out loud. Yet loss doesn’t discriminate by gender. Grief is deeply human, and when we don't offer men a safe space to express it, we risk isolating them in silence.

What a Father Might Be Feeling After Losing His Child

The loss of a child leaves no part of a parent untouched, and for many fathers, the pain is wrapped in layers of silence. They may carry the unbearable thought, “I couldn’t protect them,” feeling a deep sense of failure even when the loss was entirely out of their control. Identity becomes blurred. If they’re still a dad, when their child is gone, what does that mean now? Often, the world stops recognizing them as fathers, even though the title and the love remain. Many grieving fathers internalize messages that they’re not allowed to cry, break down, or show weakness. That grief may show up instead as anger, anxiety, or detachment. Some feel invisible in their pain especially when friends or family focus more on how their partner is coping. And even when they manage a smile or show up to work, it doesn’t mean the grief is gone. It just means they feel like they can’t share it.

What a Man Might Be Feeling After Losing His Father

Losing a father can feel like losing an anchor, someone who provided strength, stability, or silent guidance. For many men, a father is not just a parent, but a benchmark, a teacher, a protector, and often, a model of what it means to be a man. When that presence is suddenly gone, it can leave a man feeling unmoored and unsure of his own footing. He may find himself asking, “Who am I without him?” especially if his sense of self was shaped by his father’s values, approval, or expectations. Regret often surfaces in the quiet moments’ unspoken words, missed chances to connect, or unresolved tensions that now feel permanently unfinished. All too often, he feels the pressure to be the strong one for everyone else, to take care of others while quietly burying his own pain. It’s the little things that can hurt the most, the absence of his father’s voice on the phone, their shared routines, or the sudden emptiness in everyday rituals. As time moves forward, he may be surprised by the depth and persistence of the grief. Even if he didn’t consider himself an emotional person, the loss can hit like a tidal wave, leaving him vulnerable and uncertain, yearning for someone to say, “It’s okay to feel this.”

  How to Support Men Through Grief

Creating spaces where men feel safe to express their emotions without judgment is vital. Encouraging open conversations, acknowledging their loss, and validating their identity as fathers, even in the absence of their child can provide immense comfort.

Promoting healthy coping mechanisms, such as journaling, engaging in physical activity, or participating in creative outlets, allows for emotional expression in ways that feel authentic to them. Being patient and present, offering consistent support without pressure, helps men navigate their grief journey at their own pace.

Ways to Honor Fathers Who Have Died

For many, Father’s Day brings the ache of absence. If you’re remembering your dad this June, know that your grief is valid and your love endures. Here are a few heartfelt ways to honor his memory:

1. Share a Story
   Gather with loved ones or simply sit with a journal. Tell a favorite story. Speak his name. Let his memory live on in your words.
2. Create a Memorial Space
   Plant a tree, light a candle, or place a framed photo in a quiet place. Even small rituals can bring comfort and connection.
3. Cook His Favorite Meal
   Food carries memory. Prepare something he loved his favorite dish, dessert, or even a cup of coffee the way he liked it. Let it nourish more than just your body.
4. Do Something He Loved
   Whether it was fishing, tinkering in the garage, watching a favorite movie, or playing music, engage in something that made him smile. It’s a way of saying, “I still carry you with me.”
5. Give Back in His Name
   Make a donation or volunteer with a cause that mattered to him. Acts of service can become acts of healing.

Supporting Fathers Grieving Their Child

For fathers who’ve lost a child, Father’s Day can feel especially heavy. The world may go quiet around your pain and your grief, your love, and your story deserve to be honored too.

1. Light a Candle in Their Honor
   It doesn’t need to be elaborate. A single flame can symbolize the enduring bond between a father and child.
2. Speak Their Name
   Say their name aloud. Encourage others to do the same. It brings breath to memory and breaks the silence around child loss.
3. Create a Memory Ritual
   Write a letter to your child, plant something in their honor, or create a keepsake that reminds you of them. Let your heart lead the way.
4. Invite Reflection Without Pressure
   Some fathers want to talk. Others need solitude. Either is okay. If you know a grieving dad, offer your presence without expectation.
5. Affirm Their Fatherhood
   Remind them: “You are still a dad. Always.” Their child’s absence doesn’t erase their identity, it deepens it.

  Hope and Healing,

Teresa Reiniger

Grief Specialist with Living After Grief

 “My mission is to work with compassionate grieving women to navigate their path of grief, fostering resilience and finding clarity and understanding in their journey. My role as a Grief Resilience Specialist is to support them in reclaiming their freedom to live fully and to cultivate a deeper sense of trust in themselves as they move through the healing process."

When you are ready, here are a few more ways I can empower you on your grief journey:

Book a Hope Exploration Session:

During this session we will:

• Assess Where You Are Currently:  Understand where you are right now and identify the emotional triggers that are holding you.
• Clarify Your Desires and Vision: Clarity and Understanding to live your life fully while honoring your loved one.
• Explore Collaboration: If I'm confident that I can help you, I’ll share how we can work together to achieve your goals.

Sound good? Click the link to schedule a time to talk.

Book A Call:

You can check out my podcast: Female Voice: Life & Loss. Our podcast is dedicated to women from all walks of life, providing a supportive and encouraging platform that addresses the various challenges they face. We aim to offer compassionate guidance, share diverse stories, and equip listeners with practical advice and resources to help them grow, heal, and thrive through every stage of their journey.

Podcast Click Here: